…”I have lots of opinions and I talk too much? In an effort to combat this, I blog.” Yeah. Remember that before you read this
For someone with no kids, I have a LOT of opinions on child rearing. Whether this is because my womb is currently aching for a child (I’ll say it again: baby fever is real y’all) or because I obsess over things that don’t really affect my life (yet) I have no idea.
It also might be because in the last few years I have taken to reading a lot of “mommy” blogs.
I blame Nat the Fat Rat. It’s a gateway blog.
I recently read a Facebook post from an author of one of my favorite blogs. I’ve pasted it below (emphasis mine)*
One thing I haven’t mentioned in my posts lately about homeschooling vs. other types of schooling for Z is that it’s not all about Z. It’s also about cultivating the kind of family life we want. We want less rush, less stress, more time together. I think those reasons are just as valid as meeting Z’s individual needs. You can expect a post about this in the near future.
And here’s the thing. I don’t.
I respect that every family has the right to make the decision that work best for their family, and that sometimes, those decisions are going to make you wickedly unpopular with your kids. That’s life.
But kids are not mini-versions of us. They have their own unique sets of needs and wants and–within reason–meeting those needs and wants is important. Even when it directly violates our needs and wants (individually or as a family).
Because that what love is. It’s sacrificing yourself for others. And it’s wickedly hard and goes against every innate desire we have as humans(brokenness is just supppper fun y’all)
I really believe that a lot of the problems that people experience with kids is the fact that they are simply not listening to what the kid is trying to tell them. We have this weird belief that children come to us as blank slates and we (parents, teachers, family) get to fill up the slate. To an extent that’s true. Kids are brand new people and aren’t (usually) born with the knowledge of why pulling the cat’s tail is wrong.
But how the learn, what makes them happy and fills them with joy–that’s something we don’t get to decide. That’s something that they’re born with. And it makes me sad–and more then a little angry–when I see the world not respecting that.
Kids are individuals with unique personalities and needs. Parents don’t get to decide what how they learn or what sings to their soul–they do. And we–as a society–need to respect that and them more.
Now, I know a lot of people are going to say “They’re kids.They don’t have all the information/aren’t mature enough/don’t know enough to make these kinds of decisions. Part of being a parent is making decision for the family that you think are best.”
My response to that is:
“They’re not just kids, they’re people. Shorter, younger people but people nonetheless. Part of growing up is making mistakes. As long as they’re not harming themselves (physically, spiritually or emotionally) show them that you trust their instincts enough to let them do what they think is right for them. If they fail–AWESOME! Failure is great because it means that you’re trying. Teach them through example that their instincts are worthy of being trusted, that failure can be good (at the very least it’s humbling and teaching) and that above all–you value their thoughts and feelings.”
So I guess that’s my bullet point for the night y’all. Kids are people. It’s time we started treating them with the respect they deserve.
*Note: I’m only doing this because it’s a FB page about her blog, which is public. I would never post something word for word from someone’s private page. Privacy is important kids!
**I’d also like to note: I really really like this blog and it’s author. She does a great job of parenting her kids in the way that she thinks is best despite what the world says, and she’s never mean to people who are mean to her. I just happen to disagree with this philosophy.